So, this is basically a note I found on my phone, dated 20/04/2020, where I’d saved a bunch of memes, Tweets etc. alongside some records of conversations I actually had (with names changed to protect the [sort of] innocent). I think I intended to write something about the Pandemic, which I never started, & these notes were related to that. Obviously that date is the date of the last thing added, & some of the conversations recorded here definitely happened before the laughably light, & late, lockdown which came into effect in the UK on 23/03/2021.
Nothing I present here represents my own thoughts or feelings.
The title comes from the excellent song by Ugly Casanova, which I will include at the bottom of this post.
I don’t know if this is of interest to anyone, but I think that it offers a fascinating insight into the levels of horror, confusion & paranoia which I personally experienced, both in cyberspace & the meatspace. These notes represent a world in the grip of uncertainty, a far cry from the blasè acceptance of the pandemic & it’s deadly mismanagement of today, 18 months on.
You don’t expect this sort of thing in a country which voted overwhelmingly for dogmatic free market fundamentalists
[Gaslighting the population into confusion over the seriousness of this virus 🦠 a shambles with a serious agenda? ]
[the world became intoxicated with fame and glamour and lost the yardstick of true value. how can the guy who kicks a ball around a field be more valuable than the person who looks after your children? or the star of a movie franchise be worth more than the nurse who risks contagion to wash you and feed you when you are seriously ill and vulnerable? the person who performs the back breaking job of pulling the food from the ground that magically appears in your shopping trolley may be an itinerant EU worker but try living without him.. Time we all reassess what is important, and why???]
Roy: Dave, if I don’t come back from dinner it’s because some bastard has bought all the Irn Bru and I’ve topped myself.
Roy: the state of the world now is that if McDonald’s closed some people wouldn’t eat at all.
Me: that’s Darwinism in action.
Roy: yeah I agree, let them starve.
My aunties kids would starve cos that’s all she feeds them.
[Wife going into work at the bank people still not distancing, as I quote it’s my money and I’ll stand we’re I want.
They have not been given any ppe when money us unbelievable for carrying… and possibly bringing it home to there families]
[Ugh, I keep seeing parents of high school kids saying how “the government stole their babies year over some old people who’ll die anyway” and that they’ll put on a dance privately just to spite everyone.]
Roy: there’s this new virus in China
Comes from bats
It’s so contagious that the doctors who were treating the sick guys even caught it through their hazmat suits
We’re all gonna get it anyway
Roy sweeping the lanes. Complaining about the large amounts of dust he’s inhaling.
me: hey silver lining, it’ll probably kill the coronavirus if you’ve got it
Roy: well, Turns out marijuana kills it. I’m probably immune.
Me to Bob: I wonder what Roy’s source is, that marijuana kills corona virus.
Bob: don’t know but I bet it’s website has got a cannabis leaf in its logo
Above is based on a meme which shows a mock up live, breaking news broadcast. Made to appear like a BBC news broadcast.
Alex: this is ridiculous
Society is breaking down
I think it’s man made. My theory is that the economy is gonna collapse and that China will bail us out. They’ll buy us.
J: it’s crazy. They’re closing things and banning things. I’ve got tickets to Disney land in three weeks.
Me: I’d get in touch with your travel insurance if I was you
J: well we got it on credit card so we can get money back. It’s just daft though innit. There’s no need to close things. It’s probably not even real.
Me: I think it’s actually a lot more serious than you think
J: yeah I guess. I’m just so confused. You don’t know what to believe do you. How do you know what’s real anyway? Is this real? I don’t know.
J: what happens if we have to close down?
Generic Management Figure: name me one company that’s closed down
Generic Management Figure: name me one. No company has had to close and none will.
Me: but it’s a possibility isn’t it.
Generic Management Figure: yeah but it’s not very likely
(Jason Manford, comedian: Sat watching the news with the kids when they announced “shoppers will only be able to buy 3 of any item”
My 7 yr old son “hang on, what about grapes?”
My hysterical daughters are now acting out the scenario of a shopkeeper giving 3 grapes to each shopper.
(Yes we’re going mad!))
Buy Tom a coffee?
Tom loves coffee. If you’ve enjoyed any of the content he’s created then please consider donating a few quid to buy him a cup.